Gunther RP #9 (Aliens Part II)

Gunther, Basshunter, David Hasselhoff, The Undertaker, Buckethead and Technoviking all looked up at the sky. They saw what looked to be a giant purple star. They knew what it was. 

They grabbed their jetpacks, or other flying devices that they possessed, and flew of to meet with General Pshade at the World Army headquarters. They landed about ten minutes later. They walked into the giant complex, and found General Pshade. 

"Thank goodness all of you made it on time. We're ready for deployment. If you don't mind, we have two more men that we would hope could round out your team."

"Of course. And who are they?"

The general motioned for the men to open a door. The lights were off. The general led them in.

"We were experimenting with time travel, and were able to find these two men. They were flying through time, claiming that they had to be here to help. These guys are trained killers. Their stories are pure, but their legend is unimaginable."

One of the men stood up, clothed in a flowing white robe, with a red sash around it. He had long, somewhat curly hair, and a beard. He wore sandals. In his hand he held a machine gun. In his mouth he held a knife.

"This is the Son of God, one Jesus Christ."

The man held out his hand. 

"Nice to meet you. Name's Jesus. This here is my friend, Moses."

An older man stood up, with a long white beard.

"Pleasure to meet you."

Gunther looked at these men. Sure, he had heard the legends of Jesus and Moses, as they conquered the Roman Empire together. But he thought that was just a myth. Yet, here they were. Standing right there in front of him. 

"Jesus and Moses. Two of the greatest warriors that this world has ever seen. Both of them are extremely apt with the ways of the force. They have god-like powers. Jesus specializes in gun combat, mostly with machine guns. Moses is more of a hand-to-hand combat artist. He also excels with a lightsaber."

"So Jesus and Moses. You have been informed that our world is in grave peril?"

"Yes. General Pshade has informed us. We knew that when we conquered the Roman Empire that it would not be the last time that we had to save the world from evil. And we were right. We have powers that you need. The Alien Dinosaurs from The Outer Space and Beyond will have no idea how to handle our abilities. We know ways of the force that no mere mortal could ever dream of knowing. We will help you Gunther."

"Excellent. We need all the help that we can get. These Alien Dinosaurs from The Outer Space and Beyond are going to put up a battle. General, how much time do we have before they land?"

"Well Gunther, it looks to be about two hours."

"Perfect. We have much time to set up. We'll need men in every area around the world. The boys and I, we'll find where the mothership lands. See if we can infiltrate it. Take it down from the inside."

"That's a great idea Gunther. I like the way you think."

Just then, a man staring at a giant computer yelled at then.

"General Pshade. We have major problems."

They went down to the technical room. They looked up at the computer, as they watch footage of Alien Dinosaurs terrorizing the streets of cities all over the world.

"What?! How could this be? We would have tracked them landing"

"I don't know sir, we didn't miss anything, all of out satellites and images are perfect. Nothing could have prevented us from seeing them land"

The reality of it hit Gunther like a ton of breasts. 

"They didn't land. Good god, this goes deeper than I could have ever imagined"

"What do you mean Gunther?" 

"The Alien Dinosaurs. Not all of them are from The Outer Space and Beyond. Some of them have been living here on Earth, for millions of years"

"Good god. You mean to tell me that they have been living here, in hiding, biding their time, waiting for their leader to return?"

"I don't think they have been hiding. They have been living amongst us. Disguised as one of us. They have been acting like us, doing everything like us, waiting."

"This is unbelievable. Now we have no idea how many of them there are."

"It doesn't matter. There could be millions of them. We might very well lose this battle. But we will not lose without putting up the biggest fight of our long lives. We are going to give these Alien Dinosaurs from The Outer Space and Beyond a fight that they will always remember."

"Gunther is right. I didn't travel twenty one hundred years to the future, just to lose a fight. Lets get out there and kick some fucking Alien Dinosaur cock"

Just then, the giant computer screen crackled and broke into static.

"Whats going on, whats happening?"

"I don't know sir, we seem to be suffering some sort of interference."

Just then, the picture cleared. It focused in on a face. As it slowly moved out, it showed the most evil, disgusting, incredible looking Alien Dinosaur from The Outer Space and Beyond. It looked at the camera, and started to laugh.

"Greetings people from earth. I am the one, the only Leader. The leader of the Alien Dinosaurs from The Outer Space and Beyond."

"Wait. Your name is Leader?"

"Yes, that is my name"

"And you are the leader of the army?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"You don't think that that is a little bit odd, or coincidental?"

"I fail to understand what you are getting at here"

"Well, your name is Leader. And you are the leader. Isn't that a little bit strange?"

"I don't think so. My mother named me it okay. That name has lots of heritage where I come from. It is a very historical name"

"I realize that. And don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to insult your name or heritage, and especially not your mother, who I'm sure is a very nice lady. But I'm just saying that it is odd"

"Okay, well, I can kind of see what you are implying now. Leader as a name, and I am the leader. Yes. And I appreciate your kindness. That name is very important to me. Historically."

"I respect that. Gunther is a very important name to me as well. It represents who I am as a person"

"Your name is Gunther? What are the odds?! One of my good friends is named Gunther"

"Really? That is something else isn't it?"

"It sure is. The universe tends to surprise us don't you think?"

"Oh, I am constantly being being surprised by the universe. It never ceases to amaze me. To think about its never ending expansion, it just blows the mind"

"I thought I was the only one who thought like that! It blows my mind also"

"Yes, the universe is a very crazy place."

"Well, this was a nice talk Mr. Gunther. I hope we can do it again soon"

"As do I. Goodbye Leader."

The screen cut to static.

"Ummmm. What just happened?"

"You just witnessed the Gunther way of talking out of any situation, ever, my friend"

Suddenly, Leaders face appeared on the screen again. 

"Gunther. You tricked me! I was going to tell everyone about how I was going to kill all of you and take over the earth!"

"My mistake Mr. Leader. Continue with your story"

"Right. Well, we are from the great distance planet Bakstreitboyz. It is a very big planet, much ahead in evolution of where you are now. A few million years ago, our ancestors came to earth, looking for a place to continue our lives. But they found that it was inhabited by very primitive humans. And it was against our rules to take over the planet if there was life. But I wanted to do it anyways. So a great battle ensued. And so the other PrimeNumbers took the Sacred Key, the one that would turn on the Energon source and create a brand new energy for us, and they hid it. Protecting it with their own bodies. The tomb of the PrimeNumbers. It can only be found by the true and righteous. But before they made the tomb, they banished me from Earth, enslaving me only until the last PrimeNumber was defeated. That was when I could finally make my glorious return to earth."

"So you're telling me that the very last PrimeNumber was killed recently?"

"Not recently. It has been awhile. But it took a long time for the news to travel. You know how sometimes, something happens and it takes a while for you to hear about it?"

"Oh yes, that has happened a few times with me before"

"Yeah, like, you hear a really big story, and then you go and tell one of your friends, only to find out that they knew about it days ago. Or in this case years."

"Oh yes, in fact, just recently, I went to go look for the famous actor Steve Carrell. Turned out, he died fifty years ago. And i had never heard about it."

"You're kidding?! Steve Carrell is dead? Why am I always the last to hear about these things? I loved him in The Office."

"Who didn't? That was a great show"

"Oh, you don't need to tell me twice. I used to always watch that. Obviously Dwight was my favourite"

"I think Dwight was everyones favourite character, he was the funniest by far"

“As a volunteer sheriff’s deputy I’ve been doing surveillance for years. One time I suspected an ex-girlfriend of mine of cheating on me, so I tailed her for six nights straight. Turns out ... she was. With a couple of guys, actually ... so. Mystery solved.”

"Ah yes. That was a great episode. I believe it was The Secret? From Season two?"

"Yes, it was. What a great season. Possibly the best season"

"That is true, it was the one that started it all. It was very impressive, the reality aspect of it just really tied all of it together"

"Oh, I know right? It was the best part, it made you think 'Wow, I'm really looking into a paper making office'"

"Yes, it was truly excellent. Did you have any other preferable TV shows?"

"Why yes, actually, I did...Wait a minute. You're trying to distract me again. You can't fool me twice Mr. Gunther. Back to my story. We only recently heard that he died this year. So we packed up all of our stuff, and headed here."

"What was the last PrimeNumbers name, if I may ask?"

"He would have never revealed his true name. But here on Earth, he was under the name 'Master'"

Gunther looked surprised by this. 

"Did Master have a big moustache?"

"Why, as a matter of fact, he did. I think his last job was training people in moustache"

"I knew him"

"You knew Master? You must have been quite the man, he liked to live in private. How did you know him?"

"He moustache trained me. In his home in China."

"Ah yes. Rumour had it that that was where the Sacred Key was hidden, somewhere in those mountains and cliffs. How did he die?"

"I killed him. By accident. It wasn't my fault"

"You killed him? You realize that he was the only reason that we couldn't show our faces on earth. The only reason that I couldn't come and get what I wanted right?"

"Well obviously i didn't know that at the time did I?"

"True, that wouldn't have made any logical sense"

"I mean, obviously I wouldn't have known that he was a PrimeNumber, you just told me about. I only knew they existed because of what you told me here and now"

"You're right, that was my fault. I screwed that one up. Forgive me, but I think you understood what i was implying right?'

"Yes, I understood it, but I was just pointing out your flawed logic"

"Yes, I realize that, I apologize. It wasn't well thought out on my part. I'll take the blame"

"Anyways, now that we have that out of the way, I believe you were going to finish your story?"

"Oh yes. Right. Well, since we found out that he died, we knew that the time was right to invade earth, and finish what we started. Your time has come. A war is upon you. 

"And a war we shall bring. You said the Sacred Key was located somewhere in the Chinese mountains right?"

"Well, rumour had it that the location of it could be found where Master was. I just assumed that it would be there somewhere. But we don't need it to start up the Energon source anymore. Its only good for destroying us."

"So you are saying that the only chance of destroying you and the rest of the Alien Dinosaurs from The Outer Space and Beyond is to get the Sacred Key?"

"Yes, precisely"

"Okay, thanks Leader. You've been a giant help"

"Hey, don't mention it. It was the least I could do"

"You're not such a bad guy, you actually have a decent personality. I'm sure that if you weren't trying to destroy us, we'd get along famously."

"That is quite possible, but I'm sorry, for this must be done. It is written in the scriptures"

Jesus spoke up. 

"Oh yeah! Well I'll tell you what was written in our fucking scriptures, you little piece of shit Alien Dinosaur. Moses, get out the fucking commandments"

Moses pulled out two large stone tablets, from nowhere. He handed one to Jesus.

"As most people know, there were ten publicly announced commandments. But in reality there were twelve. Number eleven is 'Thou shalt not be a nigger or a queer, or a dirty jew. Being a jew is okay. Just not a dirty one. Niggers or queers are never okay' and number twelve is 'If the world is ever under attack from the dreaded Alien Dinosaurs from The Outer Space and Beyond, I will send my only son and you Moses, into time to kick some Dinosaur ass'. So hows that for fucking scriptures, you stupid piece of shit Dinosaur Alien thing!?"

"Look Jesus, if that's your real name. We got ourselves our own Jesus here. His name is RaptorJesus. And he'll seriously fuck your shit up son. So I'd be careful if i were you."

"Tell than son of a bitch to bring it on. I'm ready for motherfuckin everything. You know what. You've heard of John 3:16, Austin 3:16, well I'll tell you what. Jesus doesn't need three verses and sixteen lines. He just needs one. And you know what it says? Jesus 1:1 says that you just got fucking murdered by the Son of god. So stick that in your fucking ass and smoke it"

"Bring it bitch. I'd love to see what you and your stupid sidekick Moses think they can do to us Alien Dinosaurs from the Outer Space and Beyond"

With that, Leader cut out the feed. Gunther looked at his men. What an army. On any other day, this was an unbeatable group of men. But now, with this threat, they stood only a small chance. They looked better with the additions of Jesus and Moses. But even still. Their only hope was to get the Sacred Key. It was the only way that they would be able to defeat these beasts.

"We must go to China. In search of the Sacred Key. It is our only hope"

"Gunther is right. Let us go search for it."

"Wait. You men are truly heroes. It is only right that we equip you with these super suits of awesome and sexiness. As well as your choice of weaponry. It is the least we could do for such heroes as yourselves."

Gunther and his men walked over to the table of weaponry. Gunther didn't usually believe in guns, but it seemed like he needed to start soon if he wanted to stand a chance. He looked over at Jesus, who was all over the guns.

"Shit Moses, we don't get this kinda shit back home do we? This is a fucking laser gun. And look at this fucking machine gun. Its incredible. This was a good idea. We're really going to tally up some kills here. Look, they even have a lightsaber for you."

Gunther liked Jesus. He was to the point. He didn't beat around the bush, so to speak. A lot of the stories from the past really toned Jesus down a lot. He was a really own to earth guy. Or, son-of-god. He was the man. He would fit in well with the rest of the group. 

Once they were all equipped with their guns, and outfitted in their sexy red jumpsuits, they walked outside. The world army was busy setting up all over the world, fighting some of the Alien Dinos that were already here, and waiting for the ones from The Outer Space and Beyond. Gunther looked at his team.

"We're going to China. To try and find my old home. The one where Master lived. Thats the key to finding the location of the Sacred Key."

"So do you know where exactly it is?"

"No. It blew up and collapsed when I was there last. That is how Master died. But I know the general whereabouts of it. And I think I know where we would find what we are looking for. Everyone, we need to fly there. Jetpacks or other things ready?"

Everyone got their jetpacks on, or in the case of the Undertaker and Jesus and Moses, just started to fly. Because they were that fucking awesome.

As they flew, Gunther thought about this. It could be the last time that any of them flew around again. He looked over at all of his men. They truly were a great bunch. And they were all ready to fight. It was truly a sight to see. If you were to tell anyone in the world, say like, a group of people on an internet forum, that one day in the future, the world's fate would depend on Gunther, Basshunter, David Hasselhoff, The Undertaker, Buckethead, Technoviking, Jesus, and Moses, they would have told you that you were crazy. But yet here they were, ready to take back the world. It was a phenomenal sight, to say the least. 

As they flew, Gunther looked down. He saw what looked like a big commotion in a city below them. That was when they saw them for the first time. 

"Quick, everyone. Now we get our first taste of battle! Let's go!"

They dove down, landing quickly on the ground. There was tons of little Alien Dinosaurs. Maybe one hundred of them. Gunther had his men form around him.

"Let's fucking do this! Fuck some Alien ass!"

Gunther immediately charged one of the Dinos, spraying it with machine gun bullets. They seemed to wound the Alien, as it fell over, with green blood shooting out everywhere. He jumped on it, smashing it with punches. He pulled out a knife and slit it's throat. That seemed to kill them fine. Gunther saw another one coming at him. It shot a laser beam, which Gunther moustache blocked. He ran and kicked it where he thought it's nuts would be. Sure enough, the Alien fell down, clutching its genitals. Gunther went and stabbed it in the throat. He looked over at everyone else.

He watched as The Undertaker just chokeslammed and Tombstoned every Alien that he could get his hands on. He watched as two of them ran at him, shooting lasers at him. One of the lasers hit The Undertaker right in the chest. He fell to the ground. The Aliens turned away, just as The Undertaker sat back up. He looked at the Alien Dinos, and his eyes rolled back. Suddenly, the lights/sun went out, and a gong sounded. When it came back on, the Undertaker was behind both Alien Dinos. He picked them up for a double chokeslam, and hit it hard. He ripped their throats out, just to be safe. 

Basshunter was currently working in a tandem with Technoviking and The Hoff. Basshunter was busting out some mad crazy techno beats, which seemed to somewhat hypnotize the Alien Dinosaurs. As they stood there, Technoviking moved in with quick dance speed, and shot them in the heart, while the Hoff used his signature flutter board decapitating boomerang device, to behead all of the Aliens.

There was Buckethead, who, as usual, was off doing his own thing. He was using a specially designed guitar, which shot laser beams out of the end of it everytime he played a master solo. Which was very often. He watched as the laser beams smacked the aliens smack dab in the chest, killing them instantly. They seemed to be having no problems. 

Gunther quickly ducked a laser shot from one of the Aliens, and pulled out "the Bad Boy Bazooka". He took aim at a group of four that were running at him, and pulled the trigger. A giant rocket flew out and exploded right in front of them, vaporizing them. 

"Eat my shit Dinosaurs! You fucking dirty ass queers!"

Gunther turned and looked over at Jesus and Moses. They were standing beside a pile of roughly sixty dead Alien Dinosaurs. These guys could fight. And they could fight to kill. He watched them for a bit. 

Jesus pulled out a pistol. Without even looking, he shot three of them right in the heads as they approached him from the side. He used his left hand to force push a bunch up into the air, right to where Moses was deflecting infinite laser blasts with his lightsaber. He was moving so fast that the Dinosaurs couldn't even keep up. He jumped and force flew at a few, chopping heads off. Gunther looked back at Jesus, who now had a flamethrower in one hand, and an AK-47 in the other. As he burned some of the Dinos, he shot the others. One came at him from the front, and he was too busy shooting at his sides. So he used his elbow to pull out a giant hunting knife from his utility belt. As he flipped it out, and it fell to the ground, he kicked the bottom of it, sending it flying straight into the Alien Dinosaurs heart. As he ran out of ammunition, he dropped the weapons, and jumped at one of them, snapping its neck in half with his bare hands. He drop kicked another one, while pulling a shotgun of his back. He turned and started unloading shells onto the dinosaurs, killing plenty in a quick amount of time. Meanwhile, Moses was still chopping heads with his lightsaber. He looked and saw as a Dinosaur tried to sneak up on Jesus. He quickly took one hand off the lightsaber, and, while still fighting off the Dinosaurs attacking him, began to force choke the Dinosaur to death. 

Gunther couldn't believe it. These guys were true fighting warriors. No matter what they did, it seemed to work. They could not be stopped. Gunther knew that the rest of the Alien Dinosaurs would be much harder, but even still. he felt much better with them fighting along side them. As the carnage cleared, the men stopped fighting.

"Fuck yes! That's what I'm motherfucking talking about! You sons of bitches try to mess with the son of god, and I'll fuck you up."

"Are they all dead?"

Gunther heard one move behind him. He spun around as fast as he could, and boner slapped it five times in the face, knocking it unconscious. He then kicked it in the nuts, and dick-stabbed it to death. 

"Okay, now they are all dead."

"Fucking alright! We fucked those punk-ass bitches right up. That's some BCE shit right there, wouldn't you agree Moses?"

"Damn straight nigguh"

"Okay. Shall we continue to the mountains?"

They jumped and flew back towards China, leaving a massive pile of dead Alien Dinosaurs behind. As they flew, Gunther realized that he had no idea where he was going. He hardly even remembered the area with the temple there, and now it was gone. How was he going to get there? He thought about his time there. There had to be something. He needed to refresh his memory, that was all. How though? Suddenly, he knew. There was only one thing in the world that, for some reason, made him remember things. 

As they landed, Gunther looked around. Nothing looked familiar. But he had an idea. 

"Is Jessica Alba still alive?"

"Yeah, and she is still hot as fuck. Why?"

"I need her. Taker, can you bring her here?"

Undertaker nodded his head. He rolled his eyes back. He looked towards the sky, and raised his arms. Suddenly, the lights/sun were gone, and a giant lightning bolt struck in front of them. Suddenly, the lights came back, and Jessica Alba was standing right in front of them, wearing only a red bra and matching thong. She looked up. 

"Whoa, what the fuck...Gunther!"

She ran over to him and hugged him. 

"Hello Jessica. I needed your help."

"Sure, what can I do for you? You know I'll do just about anything for you"

"Well, I need you to give me a blowjob."

"Of course I will Gunther. But in front of everyone?"

"They can watch if they want. Its the only way to refresh my memory. And I need to walk while you do it. So here, wrap your legs around my head, and hang down in front."

"Oh, we've done this before, I remember. Sure thing Gunther."

Gunther turned to everyone else.

"You can watch if you want a show. Otherwise, just follow"

Jessica climbed up and wrapped her legs around Gunthers head. She hung down and unzipped Gunthers leather pants, pulled it out, and stuck it in her mouth. She began her work. 

Gunther could feel some slight pleasure, but mostly just the usual since he was so used to it. He thought long and hard, just like he really was, trying to remember where it was. He began to get some memory. He started to walk. 

"I'm getting something. Blow harder Jessica!"

Jessica started to suck as hard as she could. She was moving up and down faster than any girl had ever done on Gunther. The memories were flooding back now. Gunther broke into a slightly faster-paced walk, which was his equivalent to a full-on sprint. 

"Come on Jessica, you can suck better! Suck it hard!"

Everyone around, barring the Undertaker and Buckethead, who hardly ever talked, began to cheer for her.

"Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck!"

Jessica used all the strength that she had, and started to suck Gunther's massive dick at an abnormal pace. Gunther felt all of the memories rush back. 

"I remember!"

He looked down at Jessica, who was going as fast and hard as she could, only for Gunther to gain memory. She deserved a little reward. So Gunther blew a quick load in her mouth, which actually forced her to let go of his neck with her legs, otherwise she'd break some bones. She was knocked back by the force, and landed in the snow. She didn't usually swallow that much, but Gunther didn't really give her much choice. She looked up at him, covered in white. Literally drenched in it. Her whole body, she could hardly even open her eyes. Her bra and thong had actually been ripped off with the force of it, but you couldn't even tell, because she was covered in white stuff. And it wasn't snow. 

"Are you okay Jessica?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, wow, that was great. But it wasn't as much as last time"

"I know, I had to hold back a bit. If I had gone even a quarter effort, and you were that close, I probably would have decapitated you, or at least snapped your neck."

"I know. It was good anyways"

"How much of it did you swallow?"

"I don't know, probably a litre or so. Does it really count as swallowing if it just plows its way down my throat?"

"Good question. We'll say yes"

"Okay, then yeah, a litre or so, I think."

"I'll bet that layer is warmer than what you had on before."

"It actually is. it's like I'm wrapped up in a huge parka. Thanks Gunther. You are the greatest."

"Thank you Jessica. You can go now. Undertaker, send her back to a bathtub."

Undertaker did his usual routine, and with a zap of lightning, Jessica Alba was gone.

Gunther turned back to everyone standing around him.

"I know where we must go"

Gunther walked over to a giant cliff. He looked to the top of it. 

"It's up there"

They tried their jetpacks, but for some reason, nothing happened. 

"Its the old force field. Master must have kept it here forever, so that only the righteous could get to the map or whatever"

"So how the fuck do we get there. I'm fucking Jesus Christ, you don't get much more damn righteous than that!"

Gunther looked up. Suddenly, he knew exactly what he had to do.

"Stand back."

Gunther looked at the ground in front of the cliff wall. He started to walk fast, which again, was how he ran. He picked up the walking pace, and looked down, and watched as his dick grew to full size. He quickly planted it in the ground, and launched himself up to the top of the cliff. He landed on the edge, and took a step forward. He looked around. This was the place. 

He saw it.

The statue head, the one that he used to open up the hidden area, the one where he had unlocked his god inside him. It was still standing there. He knew that would be where it was. He just didn't know how to get to it. He walked over to it. He lifted it like he did to open the secret area. Nothing happened. He looked all around it. Nothing. He examined the statue. He noticed for the first time that it was a statue of a girl. A pretty attractive girl. And her mouth was open wide. 

Could it be?

Gunther had no choice. He had to try. 

He undid his leather pants, grabbed his dick, and stuck it in the statues mouth. he began to face fuck the statue. He watched as the ground rumbled, and suddenly, the statue broke away. It exploded into a bunch of pieces, and as suddenly as it came, the rumbling was gone. He looked down at where the statue used to be. There was a scroll lying there. An ancient looking scroll. he picked it up. He ran over to the cliff, and jumped down. He used his dick to break his fall, and stood back up. He walked over to everyone. 

"I have retrieved the scroll"

He opened it up.

"If you wish to seek the lost tomb of the PrimeNumbers, then you must look deep inside yourselves. For the tomb of the PrimeNumbers is located in the kcab eht no era setanidrooc spg eth .ti no su fo serutcip eht htiw llaw eht kaerb tsum uoy , retne uoy fi .ecalp gnikool elpmet a si ereht .sdimaryp eht raen ,tpyge fo tresed"

They re-read it.

"What does that mean?"

"It looks like it's some other language"

They sat there trying to think about what it could say. No matter how hard they looked at it, they couldn't figure it out. 

"Let me see that"

Jesus took it and looked at it.

"You guys are all fucking retarded. It's just backwards. God, you guys are like, fucking idiots. It says 'in the desert of egypt, near the pyramids. There is a temple looking place. You must break the wall with the pictures of us on it. The GPS coordinates are on the back'"

Sure enough, there were the GPS coordinates on the back of the map. Gunther looked at it. 

"Well, I guess we are going to Egypt then."

Just then, a giant fireball flew down from the sky. It crashed right in front of them. Out of the rock that came with it came a giant Tyrannosaualien Rex. It saw them, and began to charge. Jesus whipped out his shotgun, but nothing happened. The shells just bounced off it. It turned and shot a beam at Jesus, which he just managed to block. The Dino turned around, and looked at Technoviking. He fired a giant laser beam directly at him, which hit him right in the chest, knocking him backwards. He fell to the ground and did not get up. Gunther ran over to check on him while the rest of the guys tried to take down the T-Rex.

"Techno. Wake up friend"

"Oh Gunther. I'm so cold. So cold"

"It's probably because you are lying in snow. In China. With no shirt on."

"Maybe. But I'm not going to make it Gunther. You must keep fighting. Do this in memory of me"

"Techno, you'll be okay. Hang in there friend."

"Sorry Gunther. My time has come. I've been dancing for over a hundred years. It had to come some time"

Technoviking smiled softly, and exhaled his last breath. Gunther closed his eyes for him. He crossed his arms over his chest. He watched as the rest of the guys tried to fight off the dinosaur.

"Get the fuck down everyone! Its time to show this piece of shit what the fuck it means to be the son of fucking God"

Jesus looked at the Alien Dinosaur. His eyes lit up a bright red. He shot a giant red laser beam out of his eyes, which hit the alien right in the head. The alien exploded into dust. 

"Jesus, maybe you could've told us earlier that you had laser vision."

"It takes me a while to charge that nigguh up, okay? I used it as soon as I could."

They walked over to Techno. 

"What do we do?"

"We need to get to Egypt. It's what Techno would have wanted. He was a good man. A great man. He never stopped jamming to the techno beats. Nothing affected him. He wanted us to keep battling. We all knew the risk when we agreed to do this. Some of us won't make it out of this alive. But it's a risk we have to take. Techno was the first. Let us make sure he did not die in vain!"

"Lets fucking do this! We're gonna kick so motherfucking alien ass. You guys just made this shit fucking personal, you stupid Niggers!"

As they took off into the sky, Gunther took one look back at the body of Technoviking. He was a great and brave man. He would be sorely missed. Gunther's slight sadness turned to anger. These Alien Dinosaurs from The Outer Space and Beyond were not going to get away with this. They had taken a good friend of Gunther's. They had made it personal. And now, what he was going to do, with help from Basshunter, The Hoff, The Undertaker, Buckethead, Jesus, and Moses, well, it was just business.


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Corey. I just wanted to give you a message from the future. Since I am there, I wanted to tell you how your life will end up. I looked you up. I didn't know what happened. I found out.

You have sex with a transgendered man, and get AIDS and Herpes and die. Sorry. The truth can hurt. 

So can butt sex with a transgender.

Thats a big