Gunther RP #6 (Aliens Part I)

by **Brandon Macdonald** Mon Nov 11, 2013 5:41 pm

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Some unknown time in the future - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Gunther opened his eyes. He looked around. Where was he? This wasn't his house. This wasn't his bed. He stood up.

"Where am I?!"

He heard someone yelling.

"Oh Guntherman! Guntherman help please! Where are you?!"

Guntherman? What? He was Gunther, not Guntherman. What was he a superhero? He chuckled. Only in his dreams. But he kept hearing the screams for help. He walked outside into a back alley. He still didn't know where he was. He felt something on his face. A black eye mask? What was it doing there? He kept it on. He wanted to see where this was going.

"Meoowwww!"

A cat startled Gunther. He jumped up in surprise.

And never came back down.

"What the hell?!"

He looked down. He was literally hovering above the ground. He was very confused. He held his hand up, and tried to move. He started to fly. What in the Hasselhoff was going on here? He was physically flying through the air, like Superman. No. Not like Superman.

Like Guntherman?!

He heard the cries for help again. His body seems to take over for him. He steered himself towards where the cries were coming from. He looks down another alleyway. He sees a woman there, being assaulted by two men. It looks like she's about the get raped.

And Gunther hated rape

"Hey. Get your hands off of that beautiful lady, and leave her alone!"

The men let go of her for a moment and turned around. They looked at Gunther, and laughed.

"Oh, and what are you going to do to stop us?"

"I fight in the name of sexual justice!"

With that battle cry, Gunther ran and kicked one of the men right in his crotch. The man dropped like a rock, screaming out for his balls. Gunther reached down, grabbed his nuts, and ripped them clean off. The man passed out upon seeing and feeling this. Gunther looked at the other man, who looked scared. The man reached into his jacket, and pulled out a gun. Fumbling around with it, he shot it at Gunther, who used his moustache abilities to block or deflect the bullets. The man backed himself into a corner, and now had nowhere to go.

"I told you that you should have left her alone"

Gunther kicked the man in the genitals as hard as he could. The man fell to his knees, choking on something. He coughed up both his testicles, looked at them, felt where they should have been, and fainted.

Gunther walked over to the lady, who was lying on the ground. He held his hand out. She grabbed it, and pulled herself up.

"Thank you. For saving me Guntherman"

"Don't mention it. It's what I do. Can I ask you something? Where are we?"

The lady looked at him funny

"We're in New York City, the place you have protected for the last year"

"Right. and what year is it?"

"Are you feeling okay Guntherman? Why are you asking me all these obvious questions?"

Gunther had to think on the spot. And he came up with something great.

"No. I'm just testing you. I need to make sure that you are not trying to trick me into anything. Only a true Guntherman fan would know all his history. I need to hear you tell me my history, so I can know that you are not setting a trap for me"

Gunther hoped that it had worked.

"Oh, yes, that makes perfect sense. Okay. Well, you were born in 1978. The first 18 years of your life are missing, no one knows what happened, not even you. When you were 19, you became a model, a world famous one, due to your amazing good looks. You then made a club called ClubGunther, which has been continued to this very day. Then, you became a global icon with Gunther and the Sunshine Girls. You were a musical sensation. You were the Sex God. Some claimed that you actually had the spirit of a god living in you. Anyways, you did singing for a while, and became a global sensation. Then you decided that you wanted to be a pro wrestler. It was a great success, you became one of the biggest global icons in the history of the world."

"But then what happened? How did I get to here, now?"

"Relax, I'm getting there. Eventually, after a while of fighting in the No Limit Wrestling Federation, it ceased its operations, and you went back to full time singing. But one day, there was this guy. And he was an angry man. His name was Cap Taincrunch. He was jealous of how popular you were, how awesome you were, and everything. So he tricked you into thinking you were going to have sex with the most beautiful girl in the entire world. When, in reality, you arrived, and he pushed you into a vat of toxic waste. Needless to say, the government had heard you had gone mising for about five minutes, and then immediatley sent out a search to find you. And they did. You were in a coma. But they wanted to run tests on you. Because they wanted to see what had happened from the toxic waste. They couldn't find anything, and you still hadn't woken up. They decided that maybe the toxic waste effects would take a long time to set it. So they froze you, chryogenically. Hoping to one day release you and see the true extent of your powers. But they hid you in an underground chamber, and then seemingly forgot about you. And then, earlier this year, the year 2143, a group of scientists discovered you and unfroze you. And once the effects of being frozen for over a hundred years had worn off, they tried to run tests on you. But they couldn't find anything out of the ordinary, except that you could fly, had super strength, and had untold powers in your moustache. And you have the uncanny ability to sexually attract any and every girl that you want. Like, even the nicest and most sweet faithful girls will sleep with you, if you want them to"

"Well, I hate to break it to you lady, but I've had those moustache powers since 1998. So that wasn't from the toxic waste"

"Really? How did you gain such powers? I've seen you shoot laser beams out of your moustache before."

Gunther thought about it. This was odd. This lady was seemingly able to completely withstand his entire sexual attraction. She didn't seem to want him at all. Maybe it was because she had almost been raped. But still. It was indeed odd.

"Well, to be honest, not all of my first eighteen years are a mystery. When I was fifteen, I went to a secret temple in the Chinese mountains. I learned how to train my moustache to fight for the greater good. But I also learned a dark secret. One that I've lived with my whole life."

"What is it?"

Gunther looked at her. This all seemed really crazy, so he decided that there would be no harm in telling her.

"I discovered that my body was being possessed by the God of Sex, Exodia the Forbidden One. It caused me to become obsessed with sexual desires. I needed so much sex from famous people. And I got it. I had sex with probably every single female celebrity who was known over my lifetime, and multiple times too. But it was the way I was. It was the god merging into me. Now, I'm just Gunther, and that is how I am. Can I ask you something? What is your name?"

"Oh. It's Vanha. Vanha Len"

"Well, Vanha Len, if I may be so bold. Why are you not attracted to me? Every girl in the world wants to have sex with me, or they did. Why not you?"

"Oh well, it's because of Cap. After he pushed you into that waste, he planted chips in people's brains, so that they would never be attracted to you. It's only in certain people's though. So don't worry. Doctors have just recently found a way to get it removed. I'm going to get mine removed tomorrow."

"Oh. Okay. Thats better news then. Well, Vanha Len, I must be off now. I need to get back to my home."

"Alright, I'll hopefully see you again Guntherman! Thanks for saving me!"

"All in a days work my lady. All in a days work"

With that being settled, Gunther flew off into the sky. He found himself remembering where he lived, and most details of the last year. He remembered helping save the world from an evil dictator named Cal Culator. He remembered saving the lives of countless civilians. It was amazing what he had done.

He flew back to his hideout. He noticed that it was a big temple which was located exactly where he had his moustache training. The temple looked the exact same, except for the big sign that was hanging above the main doorway.

'THE SEX LAIR'

Gunther laughed. He walked into the temple. He made his way to the control room. He had remembered that he had a meeting with World Leader Lam Pshade. He walked into the control room and turned on his giant communication TV. He saw General Pshade.

"Ahhh, Guntherman, so good to see you"

"And good to see you General Pshade"

"How was your daily routines today?"

"Uneventful. I woke up forgetting who I was, with girls in my bed that I didn't know, and had to ask for help from a stranger to remember who I was."

"Just another typical Tuesday morning for Guntherman."

"Pretty much."

"Anyways, Guntherman, we arranged this call to originally be just a friendly check up on how you were doing. But it appears it needs to be more than that."

"Well, Guntherman, I'm not sure how to put this, but the entire world is in grave danger"

"You put it pretty clear to me. What is this danger you speak of?"

"Our military satellites that are scattered throughout the galaxy have picked up multiple signals of something big approaching Earth. Something that could cause catastrophic results."

"But what could this be? A comet? Aliens"

"It's worse than aliens."

"What could it be then?"

"Tell me something Guntherman. What are the two worst things that exist or existed in this galaxy?"

"Thats easy. Aliens and Dinosaurs"

"Bingo. And what's the only thing worse than an Alien or a Dinosaur?"

Gunther's jaw dropped. He stared at the screen.

"Pshade. You don't mean....Alien Dinosaurs?"

"Not just Alien Dinosaurs. Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond."

Gunther collapsed back into his chair.

"And you say these aren't just Alien Dinosaurs from Outer Space. These are Alien Dinosaurs from THE Outer Space, and Beyond?"

"Yes Guntherman. Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond"

"Good lord almighty. We are doomed."

"No Guntherman. You can't think like that. We have a secret weapon."

"What might that be?"

"You know that a year after you were frozen, a drug was made to make people live forever, right?"

"Right, I have been told."

"Well Guntherman. To put this plain and simply. We need you to go out. We need you to assemble a team."

"A team?"

"That's right, a team"

"A team of who?"

"You need to find five other people who will be willing to help you wage war against these evil Alien Dinosaurs."

"Okay. I'll do it. I know just the five as well. But I'll need full military support. From the world"

"And you'll have it."

"Perfect. I have just the team to assemble. General. You need not worry. The world is in the gentle and loving hands of Guntherman. And Guntherman will not let any Alien Dinosaurs from The Outer Space and Beyond destroy it"

"Guntherman, that is the best news I've ever heard. Assemble your team, and come back to here and tell me when you are ready to draw up battle plans."

"I will General Pshade, sir. Much Love"

Gunther shut off the connection, and went and got changed into a new leather jacket. He put on his bullet and flame proof leather pants, and flew off to the United States. He had a good idea of who he was going to see first.

He arrived in the Unites States a little while later. He arrived in Death Valley. He saw what he was looking for. A little run down shack in the middle of nowhere. He knocked on the door.

All of the sudden, the lights went out. Even though he was outside. A lightning bolt struck the ground in front of him. Gunther jumped back, and ran into something. He turned around and felt a hand squeeze around his throat.

He looked at the eyes of the Undertaker, which were rolling back into his head.

"Taker, its me Gunther!"

Taker rolled his eyes back.

"Oh. Gunther. You know better than to not show up unexpected like that. I tend to get angry. I was really feeling a chokeslam."

"Well, I have a propostition for you. How would you like to chokeslam some Alien Dinosaurs?"

"Alien Dinosaurs?"

"Not just Alien Dinosaurs. But Alien Dinosaurs from The Outer Space and Beyond"

"Alien Dinosaurs from The Outer Space and Beyond?"

"Yes Taker. Alien Dinosaurs from The Outer Space and Beyond"

"Wow, what will the world do? Those are the two worst things, ever."

"I know. But Undertaker. I'm assembling a team."

"A team?"

"Yes. A team"

"What kind of team?"

"A team that will fight together, along with the military of the world to take down these Alien Dinosaurs from The Outer Space and Beyond. Are you in?"

Gunther held out his hand. Undertaker looked at it, and shook it.

"I'm in."

"Excellent. Head over to my place soon. You can just appear there. I'm going to get the rest of the team"

"Excellent"

Gunther left the Undertaker. One down, four to go.

He arrived somewhere else in the United States.

He knocked on the door. A man answered. A man with a bucket on his head.

His name.

Was Buckethead.

"Buckethead. I'm forming a team. Are you in?"

"What kind of team?"

"A team that together, along with the world's military forces, will take down the Alien Dinosaurs."

"Alien Dinosaurs?"

"Not just Alien Dinosaurs. Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond"

" Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond?"

Yes. Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond"

"Wow, this is serious. Good thing I have been working on a new guitar weapon."

"So I can count on you Buckethead?"

He held his hand out.

"You can count on me Gunther"

Gunther flew off. There was two down.

He landed in Denmark. This was the location of the Dark Horse. The one that nobody knew about, but Gunther knew he could be vital. His name.

Technoviking.

Gunther saw him, dancing on the street. He noticed Gunther.

"Gunther, whats happening my man?"

"Nothing Techno. How about you?"

"You know me, always dancing up a storm. Hows life been?"

"Oh, it's been pretty good. Slept with a lot of women."

"You and me both pal. Anyways, what brings you to Denmark?"

"Alien Dinosaurs Techno"

"Alien Dinosaurs you say?"

"And not just Alien Dinosaurs. But Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond"

"Good lord almighty Jesus. Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond?"

"Yes techno. Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond"

"Wow, this is serious."

"They are coming to earth. They are trying to take over. I've been assigned to form a team. Will you join forces with us Technoviking?"

"Of course I will Gunther. You know I can't say no to you"

"Excellent news my friend. I only have two more to gather. Then we will be ready to go. To protect this world, for the greater good and safety of mankind."

Gunther again took off. He landed in Sweden. At the ClubGunther. He knew who he was looking for would be inside. He walked in, and looked around. He saw the DJ. The man who would be the second most essential man for this team.

Basshunter

"Jonas, my man, the club is hip and happenin"

"Gunther! My brotha from anotha motha. How's it going? I haven't seen you in ages. What's new?"

"Sleeping with tons of women. You?"

"The same. Remember that time way back when? Where we had sex with Emma Stone and Kate Beckinsale?"

"Oh yes. Those were some of the glory days weren't they?"

"Ya, you're not fooling around. Now look at us. Popular by day, heroes by the other times in the day?"

"Yes, it is a crazy life to live. But someone has to do it."

"Yes, I guess you're right. Anyways, what brings you to your club to see me?"

"Jonas. I'm assembling a team. Are you in?"

"Of course I'm in. If you ask me to be in, of course I'll say yes Gunther. We're homies. But what is this team for?"

"Well Jonas, there's a worldwide threat occuring. As of this moment, Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond are heading towards Planet Earth."

"Not Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond!?"

"Yes. I'm afraid so. Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond"

"Good lord. If we don't do something that world will be over before we know it!"

"Exactly why we are going to do something. Before they end the world. We're going to fight them. And defeat them. The team is almost complete. I must recruit the final member. Thank you Jonas. We'll get those Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond"

"We sure will Gunther. We sure will"

Gunther took off. He had one more person to find. The key to this whole issue. The only one that mattered to this team. The one, who, if Gunther couldn't successfully recruit, this whole team would be for naught. Gunther needed this man. More than he had ever needed anyone in his entire life. The fate of mankind laid on this man's broad shoulders.

Gunther knocked on the door. A man answered. He saw him, and smiled.

"Gunther, my man what is up!"

"David. How are you? It's been far too long"

"It really has. How have you been? I haven't talked to you in, well, over a hundred years. How've you been?"

"Well, I was frozen for most of those years. So I only remember the last year. But it has been crazy. Being a superhero kind of figure and all that. What about you?"

"Oh, I mostly lay back here now. With my wife. You know how it is now"

Gunther looked at him

"With...your..wife? You have a wife now?"

"Yes Gunther. I decided that the single life wasn't doing it for me. It wasn't where I wanted to be. I settled down. I married my lovely wife. I don't do the one night stands anymore. I'm a changed man."

"But...David. All those times we had"

"Enough Gunther. I've gotten rid of those memories. I'm trying to live my life the right way. The way I should have done from the beginning. Enough of this, why are you here? Why did you come and disturb me after a hundred years of nothing?"

"I'm assembling a team."

"A team? A team for what?"

"We're going to fight off the Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond that are coming to attack the Earth."

"Wait. Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond are coming to the earth?"

"Yes Dave. Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond are coming"

David Hasselhoff looked at Gunther, with sad eyes.

"Sorry Gunther, but the answer is no. I gave that life up a long time ago. And there's nothing that will change me back"

"But Hoff. We need you. You are the only one who I can trust one hundred percent. The one who I need to be my right hand man. We can't win without you."

"Sorry Gunther. But it's too late. I've made up my mind. I'm going to ask you to leave now"

"Hoff, please. The human race needs you."

"No Gunther! They don't. You need me. But I'm not interested. I'm sorry."

Gunther turned to leave. But before he did, he looked back at David. He threw him a package.

"I was going to give you that as a gift. But now I don't even know who you are anymore. You can keep that. But it's no gift. I just don't want it anymore. Goodbye David. Maybe we'll see each other in the next life.

Gunther turned and left. David watched him take off. He opened the package in his hands. Inside there was a note, attached to a pink g-string. It read:

'Dear Hoff. This is for you. It's the g-string that belonged to one Mrs. Carmen Electra. You remember her? It was the first girl that we ever double-teamed. I've had this for so long. But I wanted to give it to you. You're my best friend Hoff. I'm sorry about these last one hundred years. I wish I could've lived them with you. We would have set the world on fire. We were the greatest of friends. This is for all the years we had together. The best of times, the worst of times. This is for everything. Thank you.
Gunther'

David stared at it for a few moments. Tears welled up in his eyes.

Gunther was back at his Sex Temple now. He was on the screen with the World Leader.

"So Gunther. Have you established a team yet?"

"Well sir, I got four of the five. It's not quite what I had planned, but it will have to do. Let me introduce you. First, we have the Phenom himself, the Undertaker. Specializes in teleportation, and brute strength. He uses calculated attacks, and also has the ability to draw lighting and fire to do what he commands. He can also turn out the lights anywhere he wants. Next, we have Buckethead. A guitar playing wizard. His fingers move so fast, it's hypnotizing. Literally. Those Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond won't know what hit them. If he charges his specialty guitar enough, he can shoot energy out of the end. It also doubles as a melee weapon. He's a great asset to the team. Over here we have the one and only Technoviking. Incredible dancer. Dances so well, that it's impossible to touch him. Mix that with techno music, and he is virtually unstoppable. Which leads to the final member of out team. Jonas Altberg. Basshunter. Master DJ, can turn anything into an outrageous beat. He has the ability to throw special exploding discs, as well as play music with so much bass that it will distract the Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond. These four men and I will-"

"You're forgetting one"

Everyone turned to look at the doorway. There stood David Hasselhoff, g-string in hand, life preserver in the other.

"I'm David Hasselhoff. Rely on good looks, charm, and otherwise wity personality. Have the ability to talk my way out of any situation. I'm also as strong as they get. I have the life preserver of doom. This is a reusable weapon of mass destruction. Unstoppable. I make up the final addition to this team of amazing men"

Gunther looked at Hoff.

"What made you change your mind?"

"Honestly Gunther. Panties."

"I thought so. I knew David Hasselhoff couldn't resist some more action."

Gunther looked back at the screen, where General Pshade looked at him.

"General, this is as fine a team as you will ever assemble. I would like to talk to the men who will be fighting. Are they all assembled?"

"Yes, Guntherman. They have been assembled in a gigantic military complex. They are awaiting a speech from you. Once that occurs, we were hoping you could fly over, and get equipped. Then, the battle will begin."

"Okay. Put me on the screen. I'm ready."

The general pushed a few buttons, and Gunther could see millions of soldiers milling around a big complex facility. He addressed them.

"Everyone. Listen up. This is Guntherman"

Everyone turned their heads towards him. It became dead silent.

"Good morning. In less than an hour, Those Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond will be landing here on earth, attempting to take over the world. And you will be launching the largest military battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"

"Gunther"

"Yes David"

"It's not the fourth of July"

"It's not? Really?"

"Nope."

"Shit. Okay then. Sorry everyone. That was the wrong speech. Like I said. Those Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond will be landing here in about an hour. We don't know what to expect. Mankind has never had to deal with anything quite like this before. None of you have ever been trained in anything like this before. And quite frankly, I'm going to imagine a lot of you are scared. It's natural. The human being always feels scared when they are faced with the unknown. But here's something you should know. Every man, woman and child out there is counting on you. You're putting your lives at risk to help every person live the life that they always wanted to live. Your putting your life on the line for the safety of our world. Isn't this what you all dreamed of as a kid? Being the earth's saviour? Because that's exactly what you are doing. You might not feel like it, but each and every one of you is a hero to this entire world. Today, we bond as one. We come together, join forces, become an army united under one common purpose. Protecting our great planet from Those Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond. I know each and everyone one of you is with me on this one. We must fight together. We must protect the human race. This is our time. This is our world! And if those Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond want to come take it from us, well, let me tell you, they have another fucking thing coming! Now who is with me!?"

The entire military complex exploded into cheers. Gunther turned around to his teammates who were looking at him.

"Wow, Gunther, that was incredible. I've never heard you talk so seriously."

"Serious times call for serious measures. I needed to get a point across"

"Do you really believe that we'll be able to stop these Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond?"

"Well, I'll tell you one thing. If we can't stop them, we'll sure put up one hell of a fight. A sexy fight. It's going to be a glorious day."

Gunther and his team all walked out of his temple together, looking up at the sky. In the distance, they could see what looked like a giant purple star.

"There. That must be the Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond"
her looked up. He saw it too. The fabulous team of Gunther, The Undertaker, Basshunter, David Hasselhoff, Buckethead and Technoviking all looked up in the sky

"Well. I guess the moment of truth is upon us. Here's where we find determine the men from the boys. Men. Let's go out and kick some Alien Dinosaurs From The Outer Space and Beyond ass"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Corey Casey, bring me fear? Ha ha. That is just a laugh. Corey, you don't scare me. At all. How are you going to try and rip my moustache off, when all I have to do is tear you dick off? And believe me. I won't hesitate if that's what it takes. Because I'm on a mission. I'm going to prove that I'm here to stay. That I can be violent too. Not only can I be violent, but I can be downright fucking deadly Corey Casey. I guess you are about to learn the hard way.

Let me tell you something. When you are a God, and you get imprisoned for millions of years because of something that is so natural, well, wouldn't you be a little angry? Now imagine that you are finally free. But you are stuck in the body of a man dreaming to be famous. Neither of you are strong enough to support one another. So you have to sit there, slowly making your way into his system. Then, eventually, the two of you are able to interchange. He's able to live his life, and you can finally live yours like you wanted. You can help each other get to heights that neither of you even thought you could reach on your own. But you have a desire to kill. A desire millions of years in the making. Then, finally, together you make a decision that benefits both of you. Joining a wrestling federation. One that prides itself on its violence. He can go around doing his thing, talking up all the chicks, using my powers to get what he never would have had without me. And then ,when he goes into the wrestling ring, he can let you take over. And you can finally get the sweet taste of blood and pain that you have always desired. That's how I need to feel. And the last three weeks. Well, we decided that Gunther didn't need to release me. Why not? Because his matches were too easy, he didn't need me. Mind you, he did lose to Tilli. But that's been explained. But this week, we saw who we were up against. You, Corey Casey. And Gunther and I both knew who was going to be getting his first chance at payback for what has happened to him for these last millions of years.

Corey, simply put, it is not Gunther who is fucked. It is you.

You anticipated that Gunther would be the one fighting you. The fun, lovable Gunther, who's just in it for the sex. No no no. You get me, the beast that lives within Gunther. If you fought Gunther, it would be no contest. You would kill him. But fighting me, thats a whole different story. You can sit there and insult Gunther all you want. Doesn't bother me. It makes me angry that you are insulting the man who's body I reside in. But it doesn't hurt me. It just gives me more reason to make you bleed. To make you suffer. To make you cry out in pain, as I rip you apart.

I don't think you even realized this did you Corey? Your career is on the line. How the fuck are the Dark Knights supposed to function without you? I bet you never thought of that. You know why? Because you were fat too busy writing Gunther off as a joke. As a man who stood absolutely no chance of beating you. Now who's laughing. How will you ever live it down, if you lose to Gunther? The man with the moustache and mullet that you seem way too jealous of. I don't know how many ways I can put this. But you are fucked. Hard. And not literally. Because I know your thoughts of homosexuality that you seem to be hiding would twist that around into something like that. Honestly, you call Gunther homosexual. What have you ever done to become as famous as Gunther? You never made number one hit music. You don't own the most successful club in the world. You havent been the most successful model ever. And I know for a fact that you have never been with more women than you can remember. Why? Because you are a failure. All you do is beat people up, people who are weaker than you, and then claim that you are the most violent person around. Tell you what Corey. Lets make this violent.

I want no rules. I want this match to be the bloodiest, goriest, most vicious match that the NLWF has ever seen. I want fireballs. I want lightning. I want steel chairs, garbage cans, tables, knives, barbed wire. I want explosions. I want to come out of it with so many cuts and burns that I can't even count them all. I want to leave the ring such a bloody mess that the fans would think that we put a red carpet on the ring. I want to be covered in so much blood that I don't even know whose blood it really is. The reason I want all of this? Because I know that you'll be coming out worse than me.

Simply put. I want a war Corey Casey. And you better give it to me. Because, if you don't I'll have to take it from you. I'm going to make you bleed. I'm going to put you through fucking hell Corey Casey. You get to face the wrath of a god, whos been building up anger for millions of years. And that god wants to see suffering. This is your career on the line. Lets make it violent. I know you want to. Since this will be your last match in the NLWF, don't you want to go out with a fucking bang? Don't you want to have that match that everyone talks about for years because of how brutally gory it was? I know you do Corey Casey. So lets do it. Lets have that war.

And I will be the winner of this war. I will put you through more pain than you have ever felt in your entire life. I will completely annihilate you. And you'll be taken out of the NLWF in an ambulance. And I'll be celebrating. Covered in blood, holding the North American Title. Corey, you picked the wrong time to underestimate an opponent.