Gunther RP #1

by **Brandon Macdonald** Mon Nov 11, 2013 5:31 pm

“Can we get your autograph?! Oh we love you so much Gunther! Sign my breasts! Sign my baby!”

Gunther looked up. A bunch of young teenagers and some middle aged women were yelling for him. He was used to it though. This happened to him everyday. Being a sex-god and all. All he was trying to do was get a sandwich.

“Turkey Club. Whole wheat. Toasted. The works”

Gunther was a man of few words. But the words that he did speak, were sexy as could be.

The cashier was looking at him with big eyes. It was easy to see that she was attracted to him, just like every other girl.

“Th...that...that'll be 5 dollars sir.”

Gunther took out a five-dollar bill and a twenty dollar bill. He gave her the five, then took the twenty, held it up to his face, and kissed it.

“This is for you. Spread the love. Respect”

The girl almost fainted when he handed her the bill.

Gunther turned around smoothly and sexily. He popped the collar on his leather jacket, adjusted his glasses, and walked out of the Subway.

He walked outside, with his head held at such an angle that the light bounced off it perfectly, creating an other-worldly look. He walked at a slow pace, so that everyone had a good chance to check him out. Which everyone did.

He made his way towards the KFRC 96.9 radio station. He had an announcement to make.

When he arrived, he walked in and looked around for someone to direct him. He saw a lady who looked important. He walked up to her.

“Excuse me. Where can I find DJ Sexay?”

The girl began to talk, but then looked up at Gunther, and saw his sexy physique. She started to stammer. Since this happened frequently for Gunther, he wasn't phased.

“Yes, I am sexy. You can look, but you can't touch. Please. Where is the DJ?”

She pointed him towards a radio room. As Gunther walked away, he turned and did his trademark kiss gesture. The girl nearly fainted.

Gunther opened the door and saw a DJ sitting around some equipment. He announced his presence.

“Hello. I am Gunther.”

The DJ looked up.

“Wow, you are even sexier in person. I'm not even gay and I would sleep with you. I'm Chris”

The man got up to shake Gunther's hand.

“I get that a lot.”

They shook hands, and the man directed him towards a chair beside some microphones.

“Now I understand that you have a big announcement to make?”

“Yes”

“I was thinking I'd ask you a few questions first, to set the tone, then you could make your announcement. Sound good?”

“Yes”

The DJ flipped a few switches, and Gunther heard the song that was playing slowly coming to an end.

“Alright, ladies and gentlemen, you're in for a real treat here. Sitting beside me is the world's sexiest man. I'm not kidding when I saw that either, there is no man sexier than this man. I'm here with the one, the only, The Pleasureman Gunther!”

He pressed a button and applause could be heard.

“Thanks”

“Now Gunther, for years you have toured the globe, singing songs about your main philosophies in life.”

“Correct. Champagne, Sex, Glamour, and Respect”

“Folks, those are words to live your life by. Now Gunther, I know every lady in the world, married or single, is asking this question. Whats your relationship status?”

Gunther adjusted his glasses

“I am married-”

“Wow, who's the lucky lady?”

“I didn't finish. I am married to being single. A man as sexy as me cannot be held down by a marriage”

“Okay, I'm sorry for interrupting you Gunther. Another question though. Can you tell us what it feels like to win the Sexiest Man alive award 6 times? I mean, you are literally the world's sexiest man.”

“Well, Chris, it means a lot to me. I know I am the sexiest man, and it feels good when you are honoured for it. Whats it like? I walk down the street, and girls of all ages turn and look. It's quite enjoyable. I can have any girl I want, in the world. Just two days ago, Jessica Alba asked to sleep with me.”

“And did you?”

“No comment”

“Haha, well, folks, you heard it here, Gunther is open for business, twenty-four seven, three six five.”

“Just remember, if you don't agree with my four principles, I can't do it”

“Well Gunther, I think that we can all agree with your principles, they might be possibly the four most important words of all time.”

“True”

“Anyways, Gunther, I know you have very limited time, being so sexy and all, but I know you have a big announcement to make to all of your fans.”

“Thank you Chris. I do. As you all know, I am a sexy man. The sexiest man. And what do all sexy people do? They model. But I've already been there, done that. So what's the next thing that sexy people do? They pro-wrestle. So I am announcing that I have officially joined the No Limit Wrestling Federation, where I will continue my long-time run of a sexy hero. I make my sexy debut at Seven Sins next week. It is going to be something for the ages. But now, I must go. Remember. Champagne, Sex, Glamour and Respect. Much love”

“Thank you so much for coming in Gunther, and I'm sure everyone will buy the PPV, knowing that they will see you. I know I will.”

Gunther shook Chris's hand again, and left the building.

He passed by the lady who directed him earlier. He decided to make a quick stop. He walked up to the lady.

“Is there a bathroom around here?”

She pointed over to the corner of the room.

“Lets make this fast. I don't have much time.”

She looked up at him, surprised, but relieved at the same time. She ran over to the bathroom, while Gunther walked, because Gunther never ran.

...............................15 minutes later...................................

“You were amazing”

“I know, its what I do. Goodbye. Much love”

Gunther left the building, and onto the street. Everyone was looking at him, for good reason too. A bunch ran over to him.

“Gunther, you're going to wrestling? I'm wrestling's newest fan now! Gunther, we love your mustache! Gunther, I want to have your babies!”

Gunther didn't say anything, he just did another of his kiss gestures, and they parted like the Red Sea.

Once he had made it to his car, called the Sexymobile, he headed off towards the SexCave, which was underneath his giant mansion.

Once he got back to his home, he saw that he had missed a call from his less-sexy-but-still-sexy friend, David Hasselhoff. He called him back.

“This is the Hoff”

“This is Gunther”

“Hey, Gunth, buddy, hows it goin?”

“Sexy. And you?”

“More or less the same, just been at the beach, being sexy.”

“Were you wearing a leather jacket at the beach?”

“No, I was just wearing my shorts, no shirt. Why?”

“Ah. Not as sexy as when I'm on the beach then. It's okay, no one is.”

“Well, you got that right Gunth. Anyways, is it true that you are going into the wrestling business?”

“It is true. I have decided to bring my sexiness to a new area”

“Wow Gunther, thats pretty glamourous for you. But I respect it”

“Thanks Hoff. You should buy the PPV. It'll be sexy, no doubt about that”

“You know, I won't buy the PPV. I'll buy front row tickets to the event! I wouldn't miss this for the world. To see my good friends sexy debut in the wrestling business. I'll be there.”

“That means a lot Hoff. Respect.”

“Respect, Gunther. Respect”

“I must go. Much Love Dave”

“Much love Gunth”

Gunther hung up the phone, and decided to take a break. He took of his clothes and headed for the hot-tub, glass of champagne in hand.

___________________________________________________________________________

So, NLWF. Are you ready for a man as Sexy as myself? I'm not sure. I don't know if you quite understand how sexy I am. Women can get impregnated, just by standing near me. When I talk, I cure diseases with my sexy voice. I am the sexiest.

Chuck Matthews, you have proclaimed yourself as a Sex Icon here in the NLWF? Well I am The Sex Icon. In greek mythology, if you look up the God of Sex, you find me. My moustache combined with my sexy mullet is far too much to resist. I have slept with so many girls, that if you were to count, you would never make it to the end, because the number is constantly increasing. If any of you think you may be sexier than me, well, you're not.

Now, I have decided to give wrestling a try. When I owned a few clubs in Sweden, I learned fighting moves, just in case. I am by no means a small man. I am a dominating one. And I will dominate whoever stands before me. And I will do it sexily. You will look at me, and see my tight leather pants. My leather jacket. My sexy glasses. My amazing moustache. And of course, the world's sexiest mullet. You will see all of these things at once, and you will become hypnotized. And while you are too busy staring at my gorgeous body and all natural physique, I will punish you with a Gunther Stunner. Who knows. I may even catch you with The Ding Dong. The main point here being that, there has never been anyone as sexy as me in the NLWF, and I will use that sexiness as an advantage in the ring. And I will win. My philosophy of Champagne, Sex, Glamour, and Respect will always prevail. And that, my friends, is the sexy truth.