Gunther RP #3

by **Brandon Macdonald** Mon Nov 11, 2013 5:34 pm

Gunther's phone rang. He answered.

“This is Gunther”

“Gunther, my main man, whats crack-a-lackin?”

“Hoff, my friend, how are you?”

“I'm great. A little tired from last night, if you know what I mean”

“Sort of. I understand what you are implying, but I've never gotten tired before, so I don't know what that would be like.”

“Oh Gunther, you truly are the Sex God.”

“That's what everyone says. Except here in the NLWF, well, some people don't understand”

“What do you mean Gunther?”

“Well, people just don't understand the message that I am trying to spread. They laugh me off as a joke, that I don't know what I am talking about. Even though I've had relationships with more girls than the entire Federation put together.”

“Well, Gunther, I would hardly call one-night stands a relationship”

“Maybe. But to me, they are something very special. They show that a girl is willing to go beyond her boundaries for just one night. They let her show her wild side, which she has been dying to get out. It shows a special connection between the two involved, because they both consensually agree that will make an effort to not contact the other again, even though they are about to share the closest of bonds.”

“Wow, I never thought of it that way. I guess that's why you really are the Sex God.”

“I know. I don't think I have gained the wrestling respect that they want before they start listening to me. I can start that this week”

“Ya, I was watching, don't you have a title match this week?”

“Yes, I do. And when I win, then maybe I'll get some more respect.”

“Hopefully. I watched Revolution 38 last week. Looks like some pretty crazy stuff is going on. Aside from the fact that you got four bitches!.”

“Yes. I try not to pay too much attention to the other stuff going on. I focus on my bitches. I'm going to gain an army. There are plenty of women in the NLWF who would love to be one of Gunther's Bitches. I'm going to show the NLWF what it means to be the Sex God. It will be a glorious time.”

“I can only imagine. I know what you are capable of when it comes to women. Amazing things”

“Thanks Hoff. You are a good friend.”

“What about the other stuff going on? This whole Dark Knight and Bad Company thing looks pretty crazy.”

“To tell you the truth, I don't really care. I'm in favour of Bad Company, but I'm not going to get involved. It doesn't concern me, so why bother? The only thing that concerns me is that I did not get an invitation to Biggie Mac's wedding reception, and I have no clue why not.”

“Biggie Mac, hes that former UFC fighter right? Yes, I heard he was getting married. And you aren't invited?”

“He invited all of Bad Company, and even though I'm not in Bad Company, I was sure he'd invite me. I enjoy weddings. They are much fun”

“Yes, weddings are truly lots of fun. Maybe you should go see Biggie, and ask him why. He's probably training at arena right now. You are in Canada already?”

“Yes. I'm very close to the arena too. Maybe I will go check it out.”

“Alright. I'll talk to you later Gunther my man. Good luck this week. Bring home that title”

“You know I will Hoff. Nice talking to you. Much love”

Gunther hung up the phone. He looked over at his bed, where, to no surprise to anyone, three girls lay, naked. They were all fast asleep. Gunther decided that there would be no need to disturb them. They had a long night. Of course, Gunther had become so used to it, that he hardly needed sleep. He gets an hour of real sleep on average per night. That was all he needed. He was blessed with the ability to go all night, and still have enough energy after one hour of sleep to continue to go the next morning. It was spectacular.

Gunther walked into the main area of the hotel room, where he saw bottles of champagne lying everywhere. No surprises there. he could drink bottles upon bottle of champagne, and still be okay. It was another one of his god-given gifts. He had many. He was proud of all of them. He walked out the door, and downstairs. He called for a limo to come pick him up.

He stepped outside into the cold air of Toronto, Canada. He walked over to his limousine, and stepped inside. The driver rolled down the barrier.

“Where do you want to go sir?”

“The All Canada Arena, my good sir”

“Anything for you Gunther sir.”

“Much love”

They drove down to the arena. Gunther kept his window open just enough so that people could see his face as he drove by. All the girls who saw him, and a few guys, were screaming and chasing the limo. Gunther was used to it. He blew a kiss to the group of girls every time they got too close. It seemed to slow them down a bit.

They arrived at the arena, and Gunther got out of the limo, while some security held back the fans. He looked at them and blew another kiss. He saw a few girls faint. He walked into the arena, wearing his trademark leather jacket. He walked around backstage, while people who were setting up for Revolution looked at him. He did not make eye contact, and walked over to Biggie's locker room. He had heard that Biggie liked to hang out at the arena early in the day before Revolution started.

He knocked on the door.

“Who's there?”

“It is Gunther”

A pause.

“Hold on a sec”

Gunther saw the door begin to open. Biggie Mac walked out and leaned in the doorway.

“What do you want?”

“I need to ask you a question.”

“Go for it”

“Why was I not invited to you wedding? I thought we got along well enough.”

Biggie Mac looked at Gunther.

“Well, Gunther, the truth is that I couldn't have you coming to my wedding. We do get along, I enjoy you, and you aren't a bad wrestler. But there are many girls coming to my wedding. Including one's that I know you have slept with in the past. I know it wouldn't be your intentions, but there would be so much attention on you that the wedding might not go smoothly. I know you would never try to deliberately ruin my wedding, but I fear that you being there would cause some girls to act, well, unnatural. Do you understand?”

Gunther thought about it for a bit.

“Yes, I guess you are right. We wouldn't want anyone to lose focus of the true reason that they are there”

“Exactly. I knew you'd understand. You are a good man Gunther. I respect you.”

“Thanks Biggie Mac. I respect you too. Good luck in your match tonight. And I wish you nothing but happiness on your day of matrimony. It will be a glorious day for everyone involved.”

“Thanks Gunther. That means a lot, coming from a guy like you. Good luck in your match as well”

Biggie Mac turned and shut the door behind him. Gunther looked around. No one was around. Too bad.

Gunther began to walk back towards the backstage entrance/exit. He felt like it was a good time to go grab a drink.

He walked outside and walked over to his limousine. The security was motioning for him to hurry it up and run, before any girls saw him. But Gunther never ran. He was never rushed. He walked at his own pace. Always. He entered the limo, and inside there was a man that he did not know.

“Excuse me gentleman, this is my limousine.”

“Yes, yes, I know Gunther.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“I need to ask you a few questions.”

“Why?”

“Do you know one Ms. Jamie McMillan?”

Gunther thought long and hard. Just like he was last night.

“Yes, I do remember her. Barely.”

“Did you or did you not have sexual relations with that woman?”

“Of course I did. I am Gunther. The Sex God. The Pleasureman. I have sex with nearly every single girl I ever meet”

“And did those or didn't those relations last upwards of six hours?”

“They did. A great six hours. She was a very good woman”

“And did you or did you not say to her, and I quote, 'I will bang you so hard from behind, that you will not be able to walk tomorrow', end quote?”

“Actually, I believe I did say that.”

“Excellent. Gunther. You have just been served.”

The man handed Gunther an envelope, and stepped out of the limo. Gunther read it.

“Jim, can you believe this!?”

Gunther's limo driver turned around.

“Believe what?”

“I'm being sued. Apparently I injured a girl while having sex. So much so that she couldn't work, and then was laid off. Thats crazy. I never injure anyone during sex.”

“I'll bet you don't. You are a nice guy”

“This is madness. I'll see this lady in court. She'll probably end up trying to get with me in the courthouse”

“Theres no doubt about it sir”

“Lets go back to my hotel. I need to mentally and physically prepare for my match tonight.”

“Sure thing Gunther sir. On our way”

Gunther read over the notice again. He couldn't believe that some lady was actually suing him. He must have fucked her so hard that she got brain damage. Gunther crumpled the paper up, and threw it out the window. This was why he got into wrestling. When he was angry, he knew exactly how he could take it out.

____________________________________________________________________________

Oh, TJ Tilli, you have much to learn about the ways of respect, glamor, sex, and champagne.

You clearly don't understand what I am all about. And that's fine. Not many people do. Its hard to understand unless you completely wrap your head around it. Instead, because you are so confused at what to think about me, you sit there and throw childish insults at me. Saying I have herpes. What kind of man do you think I am, and unsafe one? That's just foolish talk. I don't even want to address the moustache issue.

But I will.

You are twenty years old. I'm thirty one. I had already lost my virginity when you were born. I had that moustache for five years before you were born. That moustache has allowed me to be the Sexiest Man alive for so long. Just because you can't grow one yet, doesn't mean you have to insult the greatness of mine. When you finally hit puberty, let me know, and I'll be right there to congratulate you. Hitting puberty is a great day. But don't feel bad that you haven't yet. Some people are late bloomers. I was early, but that doesn't matter.

I don't know if you watched last week, but I blocked lightning and a multitude of punches with my moustache. How in the name of David Hasselhoff will you be able to hurt me, if my moustache has the power of ten thousand men? Simple answer. You can't. You seem to think that I can't wrestle. You've obviously never had sex. Sex can be a lot like wrestling. And since I have had sex over nine hundred thousand times, I'd like to think that I'm pretty good. And last I checked, I beat a girl who can shoot lightning, and some old washed up guy, which, is true, is not much of a challenge. But if you watched those matches, I dominated a majority of the time. So, once I get to face someone who is actually solid, like you, I just won't win as badly. But make no mistake, I will still win.

You're better than me? Hah. Don't make me laugh. You have never fought me, how can you be so sure? Just because you've won a bunch of matches in the past? I guess you better start working on your excuse for losing right now. Because, for a guy who's beaten former or current legends of the business in the last few weeks, wins a title, only to lose it the week later, to a Sex God with almost no wrestling training, my friend, that's a little embarrassing. Not for me though. Because I know that I'm better than you.

You insulted the moustache TJ Tilli. Prepare to face the dire consequences. This moustache is more of a man than you will ever be. Get used to it. The moustache is here to stay.

Oh, I forgot about you Matt Biggars. Well, so did a lot of people. You're a forgettable guy, with the lack of anything that you've done recently. But that's okay. I respect you. You don't go around running your mouth about my moustache. But, my friend, you got knocked out on Direct Hit. How sad is that? About as sad as a girl feels when she is turned down by me. Which, as rare as it is, an extremely sad event. I'm sorry Matt, but you just won't be able to hang with me. But I'll spare you the Ding Dong. So don't worry about protecting your balls. I'll only deliver the Ding Dong to those who I don't feel respect the Sexual ways. And there are a handful of people that fit that description. So I'll just hit you with a Gunther Stunner then. It won't be as bad, you could actually consider yourself lucky.

I can't wait for our match. I'm going to win the title, and use it to further spread the words of Respect, Glamour, Sex, and Champagne.

You better cover your nuts, because I can't promise that this match is going to be as pretty as me.